Finding My Feet

“Unpopular truth: sometimes what is meant for you will feel scary, risky and new. Easy and calm doesn’t always mean you’re going the right way. The biggest rewards come from having the guts and perseverance to create your own path.” Yung Pueblo

What I have learned.

My greatest nourishment is time with family and friends, with an intention and presence only afforded by slowing my life down. 

Community is in my bones. From Ms hyper-independence to needing people and accepting help has been a slow burn over the years to now, where I can say yes. 

The generosity and warmth of people who want to help has been incredible. 

Things take time. I have project piles on my study floor and mind maps on the wall. Focus is key to not getting distracted except for snacks. 

Solid foundations are everything. Currently, my chair rolls across the floor unaided and the washing machine spin cycle shakes the house. I can live with temporary and imperfection.

With any change a grief arrives, sometimes I weep at the kitchen sink and as I garden. Sometimes I dance, sing and write. Everything is welcome, nothing is wrong. 

In terms of levels of dirt, I’m peaking, mud and grit galore. Tall trees, the river out front and spaciousness. I feel deeply connected here. 

Things that are meant to be in my life are effortless. I need to put in but it feels calm and sturdy. The new normal. 

Lyrebirds are the coolest little road runners keeping me company on the bike. The indigenous meaning for these gorgeous birds is one of harmony and peace. I’ll take it. 

To sign on the dotted line is a declaration to commitment, opening doors where hovering will not. 

Gravel HQ is now under design. To arrive here has taken a thousand tiny decisions and a mighty leap. 

The amount of spiders and bugs in this house are not personal but nature. I am learning to catch and release through my own delivery of exposure therapy. The therapist doing therapy on herself. What could go wrong! 

I have said no and no more to many things to live differently. Stumbling through these years, falling at times, to now finding my feet. 

Life on life’s terms. Not always getting what I want. Getting what I want. Skinning my knees, maybe a face plant or three, but still turning up anyway.

A life with so much love, that’s beautifully messy. 

A life unhurried and exactly on time.